Fem gay men
Gay Men and Femininity: The Horror
Why are there so many hair stylists who are gay? Why are our homes so often featured in interior style magazines?
Why are we often the tastemakers of the fashion industry?
Why is there an entire décor resale website named “Previously Owned By A Gay Man”?
Is there a special queer “taste” gene yet to be discovered?
Alan Downs, in his popular book The Velvet Rage, argues that the reason that homosexual men are overrepresented as leaders in these industries is that we’ve had to become masters of hiding. As kids our true selves did not get validated, and so we learned to design the appearance of beauty as way to obscure our “unbeautiful” selves from the world. “We’re experts in making things and people look good,” writes Downs.
It’s an interesting theory, and one that would be hard to validate or disprove. I include no idea if it’s true. However, I carry out think The Velvet Rage is the most essential book we have on gay men’s development.
What I love about the novel are the first several chapters where he validates, with hard-hitting language, the challenges of growing up as a gay young man in a straight family. You will feel seen and heard in these chapters. They w
Fem for Fem
There came a random publish by my openly gay friend, who had claimed that those who depart for “Masc for Masc”, is something offensive to same-sex attracted community, and that it just follows the patriarchal tradition, that doesn’t allow a Masc agree a Fem. To stand up for Fem gay men is pretty fine, but to decide the Masc for his preference is what made me feel uncomfortable.
This comrade of mine, who is proudly fem, has not dated any Fellow Fem guys! In this, I see a paradox. I contain hardly seen any fem guy “date” another fem guy or prefer one. If given a choice of a Masc or a Fem who is interested in a Fem guy, the choice could very well be a Masc, at least my friend here, would drool over the manliest guys on insta or Facebook.
He has all the choice to choose how he wants to be. Flamboyant, loud, feminine, and he even could be a Diva, but for some entitlement of sort, he wants the Mascs to adore him, sexually. While he would be “inspired” by the fem guys and the performative queens, will he date one? There are many Mascs who date Fem guys, but how many Fems dine another Fem? Mostly they just close up wanting to be “sisters” or “friends&#
As the mainstream image of what a gay man is continues to morph into more of a hero and less of a victim, we continue to cast our most handsome, athletic and masculine men in the leading roles of the lgbtq+ movement. As our rainbow fades to pastel, society now understands that gay men can be just like the rest of mainstream society. Our community has a new cast of queer heroes who place our most chiseled, scruffy-jawlined faces forward for everyone to see. From TV stars like Wentworth Miller to athletes like Jason Collins, the world now knows that we can be strong and manly and fit right in with the rest of the boys. But there is a other kind of strength that has always existed within gay society, although it might not show up in the form of bulging muscles and bass voices.
Unlike his masculine counterpart, the effeminate lgbtq+ man doesn't have the luxury of hiding behind a butch façade until he is relaxed with coming out of the closet. You know the type. He can learn the choreography to the latest pop anthem more quickly than you can learn the lyrics. In elevated school he had to create a beeline for his machine the minute the bell rang so that he could escape the worn-out name calli
6 Steps Towards Whole-Heartedly Loving Yourself as a Feminine Gay Man
Source: Everyday Feminism
When I was a teenager, I was vocally adamant about not being attracted to other feminine lgbtq+ boys.
I was, at that point, the amalgamation of my fear, anger, angst, confusion, and self-loathing.
I think back to those days and wish I could go back in time, not to check or lecture myself, but to give myself the love I wasn’t getting anywhere else.
I was in a bad place. I knew I talked like what people imagine gay men talk like. I knew I swished my hips when I walked. I knew I stood out.
Because people either ignored these things altogether or had something negative to say. I began to see the things that made me different as bad. That’s all that the society had ever showed me.
I hated people like me because I thought myself something worth hating.
No one celebrated feminine gay men, and I wasn’t sturdy or independent enough to stand on my own and celebrate myself. I desperately needed validation.
To be honest, I didn’t even recognize I hated myself as much as I was attuned of the evidence that I hated others. I consideration myself above the stereotypes – I was notlike those ga