Is my friend gay
I'm gay and I want to tell my confidant. Will it spoil our friendship?
It does sound like a connundrum. What to do? We are all faced at times with difficulties around honesty and our integrity. At the end of the day we hold to live with ourselves. Some people don't feel uncomfortable about a certain level of not being open and others feel less comfortable with this. It seems appreciate you need to decide what you can live with. She is your best friend. You fear being judged by her. No one can grasp in advance if this will wreck your friendship. It does bring up questions as to how strong the friendship is. Relationships change all the time as we do. That's the one known thing in life. However, navigating that modify can be tough. We want friends who want the best for us, who support our growth and our journey in experience. Sadly, sometimes people disappoint us. We can feel grant down or judged. If we don't feel free to be ourselves in a friendhip this is also a difficulty. It's a bit of a juggle. Balancing your need for friendhip, to be truthful, to feel cozy with the decisions you make. Counselling can really facilitate s
“Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse” is a column by Kai Cheng Thom to help you survive and thrive in a challenging world. Have a doubt for Kai? Email askkai@dailyxtra.com.
Dear Kai,
I’m a gay man who has been in a friendship with a presumably straight man for about eight years. I state “presumably” because in all those years, he’s never dated or expressed interest in anyone, male or female. Three years into our friendship I asked if he was gay and he said no, so I left it at that. But recently the question has become harder to shake: He’s now an enthusiastic fan of RuPaul’s Kingly Race, pop divas, baking, his moustache and other stereotypically lgbtq+ things. I want to contain an honest conversation about his sexuality, but I worry about coming across as if I’m only asking because I wish to date or sleep with him. (He’s very handsome, which only makes it more suspect that he hasn’t been with anyone for as long as I’ve known him.) I just want him to live openly. How do I have that conversation with him? Maybe he’s asexual or aromantic? Is it even any of my business? Should I just leave it alone?
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