Anon gay
Confessions of an Anon
On the relationship between digital anonymity and sexuality in the LGBTQ community.
I grew up white, male, queer, depressed, closeted, anxious, affected by childhood sexual trauma, and with physical and emotional scars changing my confront — subtle to some, obvious to myself and others. While growing up, I struggled with a sense of duality. I had an urge to be a shadow, hidden and silent, facing opposite the desire to be the brightest, most charming individual in any room. I was always going to live somewhere in between, oscillating from end to end, rarely stopping near the truest center. When I came out at the age of 20 and experienced the freedom of digital connection, I took it as an opportunity to highlight whatever side I wanted.
Growing up, I was always self-conscious of my physical appearance. I took every photo with my top turned slightly to the right, revealing the side I believed to portray the truest version of me. I even wore my hat backwards to attract a more masculine man. This carried over into my first online profiles for Gay.com and Plenty Of Fish, which are perfect examples of the internalized homophobia and insecurities that coe
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